Quitting My Job, Finding My Purpose (or... what ACTUALLY happened)

Disclaimer: some expletives were used in the writing of this blogpost (sorry mom)..

Note: this post was originally published in spring of 2018.

When I left my strategy consulting position at 26 and entered into the expansive world of limitless career, education and life possibilities, I thought I had a pretty clear idea of what I wanted to do. I had always been what I would describe as a “purpose-driven” individual, keeping an eye on the big picture that I was contributing to by choosing specific daily activities of life and work. I had built my career thus far around the explicit goal of building a kick-*ss resume to position myself to enter the world of impact investing, a decision I made the fall of my senior year with the limited information I had about jobs that existed and how to get there.

Over my years working as a consultant (and my “gap year” working as a teacher in Malaysia), I had begun to develop a deeper interest in education, and thought maybe there would be a way to merge this interest with my original desire to work in impact investing.

What ACTUALLY happened, was I left my job.. took a few steps forward into the incredible freedom of FINALLY managing my own time and decisions, and having an incredible network of opportunities available to me.. and realized I had no f*ing idea what it was I wanted to do with my life.

LOL.

But also, OH SH*T.

hiking in Patagonian Chile

In retrospect, I can see that it took almost a full calendar year to really break down all (or almost all..) my conditioning and get at the roots of ME, my values and my vision for my life. It took traveling to Chile to hike in Patagonia, spending a month in Costa Rica amongst a group of beautiful yogis with a wise yoga instructor; it took enrolling in and finishing ⅔’s of a Masters degree, and it took talking with friends, mentors and guides about what I cared about, my dreams and aspirations, who I thought I was and who I ACTUALLY was.

Thankfully I have an incredibly high risk tolerance and waded through these murky waters without running back to the security of a corporate job with corporate benefits long enough to begin to get to the crystal clear springs of true purpose and desire.

I persevered because I knew there was something inside me that wanted to be expressed, and it was worth the “risks” of being an explorer of myself, even if it meant surviving without a title or a matching 401K contribution.

Today I am in a place I could not have envisioned two years ago.

I’m doing work that I absolutely love, I have total creative freedom over the projects I give my time to, and I get to choose the clients I invest in, based on aligned values. I’m investing in my education (yes, again), in a curriculum that I am 100% behind, fully believe in and has been a life goal since I was little (attending Harvard University, studying in the Graduate School of Education). Not to mention I have time for the things that matter to beyond my business / self development: my intimate relationship, being in nature, travel and nurturing my circle of friends and family.

Why was I compelled to share this messy, nonlinear story with you? Because I hope that you find yourself in this narrative. Whether it’s at the beginning (or a few steps before the beginning) - on the brink of quitting your job - in the middle - finding your edges and testing our interests - or towards the “end” - settling into a new rhythm.. understanding that there WILL be risk, there will be chaos.. maybe even (okay, definitely yes), confusion, can be so helpful when we don’t see the line ahead or behind us.

A fulfilled life often requires messy, raw honesty and a willingness to truly examine your life, your choices, your motivations and your desires. It can be uncomfortable.

However, the diamond at the end of the tunnel is MORE than worth these moments of discomfort, of murky water.

The diamond at the end of the tunnel is truly YOU shining as brightly as possible, as aligned to your unique purpose and gifts as possible, and as fulfilled, happy and in flow as possible.

If you’re in the midst of reconsidering your life and work, and are seeking space to really lay it all out.. get some clarity on who you are, what you’re good at, and what next steps you should be taking.. please reach out to me. Drop me a line and I’d love to chat with you for 30 minutes about where you’re at in life and work, and offer any insights I can to support you.