First Impressions, Do They Really Matter?
Think back to when you first met your best friend, partner or a close work colleague. Can you remember your first impression of them? Maybe it was what they were wearing, or the cologne they chose that day. Perhaps you remember something they said or the attitude they carried about them. Maybe you can’t recall the *first* meeting, but you sure recall some defining characteristics that made their initial big impression upon you.
I remember so distinctly the moment I met one of my best college friends, Erica…
She was wearing a hip-hugging belt that had a beautiful pattern, and her flouncy, curly hair hung over her shoulders. She was waiting in line at the registrar and I could tell right away that our friendly energies were a match.
To this day, the first impression I had of Erica - stylish, friendly, cheerful, open - holds true. It was that first impression that led me to follow up with a text to see if she wanted to hang out later that week, and eventually into my commitment to overcoming the awkward “new friend” status to eventually driving cross-country, hiking up mountains and riding down ski slopes together.
It’s undeniable that first impressions matter, and that they have a strong influence over our relationships and outcomes… but I wanted to investigate how much they matter.. And how we can be conscious of them, without feeling like utter failures if we somehow blow our opportunity to make a shiny sparkly first impression on someone we really hoped to!
After doing my research I came to two primary conclusions:
First impressions matter HUGELY in short term outcomes
You can change first impressions (i.e. if you really flub a first impression, it’s not the end of the world!)
Let’s break this down…
First of all, why do first impressions matter at all?
Enter, the Halo Effect.
The Halo Effect means that the type of first impression you leave on your audience (the term I’ll use for any person or group of people you are interacting with) will have an impact on short-term decisions, reviews or additional interactions.
For example, if you made a stellar first impression, and the next day your audience encounters you again (maybe you present something at work, publish a blogpost, or run into them at a dinner party), they’re going to “round up” this subsequent impression (i.e. perceive you more positively, regardless of the content of the second impression).
This is extremely helpful when:
They are making a decision about you, such as whether or not to offer you a job
You are hoping for an introduction or favor of any kind
You are being evaluated ex: pitch competition, university application, whether or not they want you to propose to their daughter, etc.
It works the same way if you had made a negative first impression… you will start your subsequent interactions at a deficit, necessarily “making up for” any negative attributes they’ve assigned to you from your first impression, no matter how good the content of your second impression.
Second, are you totally SOL if you’ve made a bad first impression? No!
If, for some reason, you were having an off day or off moment when you met someone you really would have liked to make a good impression on, relax, you are NOT doomed.
Yes, you will need to recover some ground. However, this is easier than it sounds, and ultimately there are several tangible things you can do to rectify your standing.
Don’t avoid someone just because you made a bad first impression. In fact, this is one of the worst things you could do! Your goal is to provide them with enough additional data points that contradict your “bad impression”, so that they will amend their perception to reflect more positively on you. In order to do that you need to have frequent contact!
Go out of your way to communicate your strengths and intentions. Is there a project you could chip in on to be extra helpful - go for it! Can you get out of your comfort zone in a meeting and present some of your analysis - yes, do it!
Don’t assume they have a bad impression of you (even if they do)! This is a mind over matter trick… if we walk into a room thinking that everyone is judging us, it will affect our behavior. Whether it leads us to being more shy, more of a braggart, or just not ourselves, it generally doesn’t lead us to lead with our authentic strengths. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt, and remind yourself of your positive attributes before your interactions with your audience. In other words, chin up! You are awesome, everyone makes mistakes, and you will rectify any negative first impression.
So there you have it. My hot take on first impressions - why they matter and also why it’s not the END OF THE WORLD if you don’t hit a homerun the first time around.
If you’ve had experience either preparing to make a great first impression, or recovering from a *less than graceful* entrance.. Let us know in the comments below!
Cheering you on,
Julia
