Strength in Numbers: Why Relationships are Your #1 Asset
I was on a cruise with my family two winters ago and I was stressed. A cruise is not a place people typically end up stressed (although it was with my family… just kidding, love you guys!), so…. What was going on?
Well, long story short, I was going through the process of signing up for classes during my second semester at Harvard and DESPERATELY wanted to get into a class at the business school. This is the kind of thing that is supposed to be easy to do but, in reality, ends up being nearly impossible. One of the most important factors of whether you get in or not is if the professor actually wants you there.
The thing was, I didn’t know the professor, and was a student over at the school of education, which doesn’t typically get priority in the business school classes. I racked my brain for a way to stack my odds and FINALLY came up with a long shot solution… I had checked the professor’s LinkedIn page and noticed that he had worked at an organization I had applied to during my senior year of undergrad. I had gone far enough through the hiring process that I had developed a positive relationship with an HR manager.
Unfortunately, that was in 2011 and this was 2018.. Was there any way I could make that connection?! Well… fast forward through getting my password to my undergrad email, using a keyword search to find the hiring director’s name, writing a message to the HBS professor (mentioning her and his past company) and pleading my case… and…. Ta da! It worked! I got in!
While I will never know with 100% certainty what got me into the course, I know that having that personal connection did not hurt my case.
This is an example, albeit an extreme one, of how relationships open doors in so many ways for us. They are so important, in fact, that they are the number-one predictive element of an individual’s success. This isn’t just the number of connections you have, however, but rather a combination of the number, the quality and the depth of the relationship that leads to what is called social capital.
So, why didn’t anyone ever teach us this in school?! Per usual, I am here to make sure you are fully equipped with what you need to succeed.. And today, I am making sure you know exactly how and why you should be prioritizing relationship building!
So first, how do relationships help us?
New perspectives and ideas: Every person we add to our network has a fresh set of experiences to color our world with. Whether it’s advising us on a decision or helping frame a problem, new perspectives are almost always beneficial
Raised profile: By connecting with like minded people who are known within their networks to be knowledgeable, values-driven and respected, your own profile is elevated within the same networks by your affiliation (and vice versa)
Access to opportunities: This is perhaps one of the most important reasons to network, although sometimes it is not clear in the beginning what exact opportunities a relationship will lead to. Every new person you meet receives a completely different set of information and access to groups, organizations, jobs and people. When you add someone to your network, you are effectively adding their access to your own!
Emotional support: Yes, professional relationships can also offer emotional support, and this can be make or break in situations where you are stretched thin, feeling defeated or going through some type of transition or hardship. We need people in our networks who we are comfortable being honest with, so that we can connect with them not only when things are going well, but also when we’re looking for some encouragement or a listening ear
So now that you’re convinced of the importance of relationships, how can you go about building them?
Here are the top three things I recommend focusing on in order to build real and authentic professional relationships:
Be yourself. Seriously. Don’t try to be someone that you’re not. People have amazing radars for bs, so don’t be afraid to be yourself. You can still lead with your strengths, but don’t be afraid to be human. People want connections they feel comfortable with, and by being yourself, you’ll instantly put the other party at ease!
Start by adding value. Always, always, always think about how you can add value to your counterpart. Is there something you could offer expertise on? A project you could review? A connection or introduction you could make? Ultimately, professional relationships are symbiotic - when you both benefit they are that much stronger and have greater longevity. So take the time to do the research up front, and make sure to listen carefully when they’re sharing - don’t jump straight into your needs, asks or aspirations.
Find shared interests. Again, people want to spend time with and speak to people they like on a human level! Finding shared interests (a sport, a food, a travel destination, a musician) will help you solidify yourself as someone they can relate to and enjoy speaking with, no matter the subject!
Two bonus tips that have helped me bring both boundaries and fun to networking:
Use your intuition to guide you, if the vibe is off you do not need to feel pressure to maintain the connection or conversation - whether it’s creepy or just not your style
Bring the intent of curiosity to your conversations or networking. Acknowledge that there is something to be learned through every conversation.
Now go forth and make some bomb*ss professional relationships! And don’t forget to nurture the ones that you already have! #strengthinnumbers
If there are strategies, frameworks or mindsets that have been helpful for you that I’ve missed, don’t be shy and drop them in a comment!
P.S. Are you on the Early Access list for Career Camp yet? Career Camp is my online course that is chock-full of guidance on successfully pivoting in your career. If you liked today’s blog, you’ll find much more similar content in the course. Sign up today to be the first to know when the course is live as well as get exclusive discounts!
